When I feel depressed (seldom) or bored (now and then) I heal myself by taking off my shoes, rolling up my pants, and wading through my library sipping the words of wise men and women. Please join me——

“The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God sitting on an egg.”

A Frenchman said “In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.”

Herb Caen said “The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around”

Alice Roosevelt Longworth’s philosophy for life:
“Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.”

The wise Woody Allen — “Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.” and “I have no fear of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

Johnny Carson: “For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.”

“Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.”

Henry Miller wisely stated “To enter life by way of the vagina is as good a way as any.”

“A vegetarian is a person who won’t eat anything that can have children.”

“Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.”

“I would rather have sex with Jennifer Aniston stark naked than with General Ulysses S. Grant in full military regalia.”

Rodney Dangerfield said, “If it weren’t for pickpockets I’d have no sex life at all.”

“I hate women because they always know where things are.” James Thurber

Bertrand Russell: “Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.”

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul” Shaw.

“The man who doesn’t read has no advantage over the man who can’t read.” Mark Twain

“I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.”

“I don’t jog. If I die I want to be sick.”

“A closed mouth gathers no feet.”

Miss Piggy says, “Never eat more than you can lift.”

“I’d rather be black than gay, because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.”

Roses are red,violets are blue,
I’m schizophrenic and so am I.

I’d rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave.

Napoleon said, “Religion is what keeps the poor people from murdering the rich.”

Martin Cruz Smith: “The trouble with group sex is that you never know where to put your elbows.”
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There — I feel better already.
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FIGHT FORTH