CARLIN THE GREAT
ByHow about a few giggles today?
I have been re-reading some old George Carlin books, and didn’t realize how much I missed him.
Here are a few of his wonderful goofy thoughts:
Does Queen Elizabeth have a sweat-band in her crown?
How do primitive people know if they’re doing the dance correctly?
How come no one serves dessert at breakfast?
After a lion escapes from a circus in Africa, how do they know if they caught the right one?
How come grownups never get to wave bye bye?
Have you ever noticed that in movies when people buy something they never wait for their change?
George says we have trouble naming things and using words that mix things up. Which is best: Slow down or slow up? We say something is invaluable when actually it is very valuable. Or should we say “From here on in” or “From here on out”?— Fire departments don’t bring fire.They should be called Extinguisher Departments.Does wrinkle cream cause wrinkles? Do pain pills give us pain?
I never eat sushi, because I won’t eat something that is just unconscious.
“I don’t give a hoot, and haven’t given one since 1955.”
“Meow” means “woof” in cat.
What exactly is a diddly squat?
George Washington’s brother is the Uncle of our Country.
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
If all our national holidays were celebrated on Wednesday we might conceivably have nine-day weekends.
Long before man discovered fire he had sand and water to put it out.
And, finally, “When you look at some of Picasso’s paintings it makes you wonder what kind of woman he visualized when masturbating.”
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Wherever you are George, rest in peace.
I miss Carlin! I especially miss what he might be saying about the current political situation in the U.S. He’d rip ‘em all apart!
I agree Bill — and what about that wonderful face of his and his expressions. Good call — thanks for reminding me.
Just imagine the great conversations George and Molly Ivins, along with Will Rogers, are having right about now! So much ammunition from which to choose. Every time you send out a new blog, all three clap and shout, “Way to go, Rev.”
I can just picture George standing there asking all those simple questions. He was a true genius! Thanks for the reminder, Bill~