After hearing all the usual spooks chattering this week I’m convinced we are about to attack Iran — or send Israel in to do it for us. I really don’t understand what has happened to America. Why are we worried and nervous unless we are at war against someone or something? I voted for Obama because I thought he’d stop these stupid wars,but he just keeps extending the ones we have, and now seems to be backing the plans for the new one. I never bought the idea that Iraq was ready to make an atom bomb and lob it into downtown Salt Lake City. I have the same doubts about Iran. Israel may have a reason to fear Iran, but does that mean we have to join in? Those folks over there are just fighting each other over their gods, and since I don’t believe in any religion I have no urge to send our troops and our treasure over there to help out.
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In addition to planning a war, we have seen a major charity taken over by the right wing and the fundamentalists. When the hell did breast cancer become political?
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Oh, to hell with it. Let’s have some laughs with a few good quotes:

Woody Allen says, “I’m very old fashioned. I think people should be married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.”

Whenever I think about today’s economy I’m reminded of Henry Miller’s brilliant comment: “If shit had value, the poor would be born without assholes.”

George Carlin said it: “Didn’t the first guy to wear a sombrero realize it was completely impractical for oral sex?”

He also said:
That guy who bothers the kids at the bus stop should be dipped in brown gravy and locked in a cage with a wolverine that is high on angel dust. — I think I am. Therefore I am, I think. —- A crumb is a great thing. If you break a crumb in half you don’t get two half-crumbs, you get two new crumbs. — A priest who had performed more than 300 exorcisms was today eaten by the boogyman.

“Jews always know two things — How to suffer and where to find great Chinese food.”

Montana’s Jeanette Rankin,the first woman elected to congress, was booted out twice. First for being the only member to refuse to vote for World War I, and later for refusing to vote to go to war in World War II. “You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.”

“I get all the exercise I need by being a pallbearer at the funerals of friends who exercise.”

Red Foxx added to that thought: “Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served our family nothing but leftovers. The original meal was never found.” Calvin Trillin

It is not true that life is one damned thing after another, it is one damned thing over and over.” Edna St.Vincent Millay

“When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.” Lily Tomlin.

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FIGHT FORTH!

I thought I’d drop by for a visit while I’m waiting for my paint to dry. If you try to rush watercolors they’ll twist your twanky.

Livingston is singing its song today. Lots of wind. The tree limbs are whipping back and forth as though trying to unscrew themselves from the ground so they could go dancing in the breeze.

Some days always wear a smile.

Did you ever notice that crows won’t look you in the eye? Today male birds are dancing, hopping and tweeting –that’s their version of Joey’s “How you doing?”

Most dogs smile at you, and their face is always filled with expectation.

The mine pits in Butte are so deep that if you lean in far enough you can hear Chinese voices.

Even if you are a Republican do you really think corporations are people?

Are you aware that America now has more people in prisons than Joseph Stalin ever sent to Siberia and his deadly camps? We have more prisoners than soldiers, and it costs us $30,000 per year for each convict. We put more people in prison than China — and they have a billion more people. What the hell is going on?

Remember, under it all a diamond is just a rock.

Why is it that all the people fighting against abortions also fight against offering help to the resulting unwanted children?

Up here the nights are so quiet your ears think you went on ahead without them.

E.B.White said it: “We are being nibbled away by the mice of time.”

While I’m at it let me drop a few more of George Carlin’s thoughts on you:

“In the expression Topsy Turvy, what exactly is a turvy?”

“Do you ever open the dictionary right to the page you want? Doesn’t that feel good?”

“Do you know the good thing about all those executions in Texas–Fewer Texans!”

“Why do they say’raw sewage’? Do some people actually cook that stuff?”

“In Rome today the pope took off that little hat and revealed that he had a map of Tombstone, Arizona, tattooed on his head.”

“After the hurricane, where do people put all those sheets of plywood?”
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I’ll see you later. My paint’s dry.

How about a few giggles today?

I have been re-reading some old George Carlin books, and didn’t realize how much I missed him.
Here are a few of his wonderful goofy thoughts:

Does Queen Elizabeth have a sweat-band in her crown?

How do primitive people know if they’re doing the dance correctly?

How come no one serves dessert at breakfast?

After a lion escapes from a circus in Africa, how do they know if they caught the right one?

How come grownups never get to wave bye bye?

Have you ever noticed that in movies when people buy something they never wait for their change?

George says we have trouble naming things and using words that mix things up. Which is best: Slow down or slow up? We say something is invaluable when actually it is very valuable. Or should we say “From here on in” or “From here on out”?— Fire departments don’t bring fire.They should be called Extinguisher Departments.Does wrinkle cream cause wrinkles? Do pain pills give us pain?

I never eat sushi, because I won’t eat something that is just unconscious.

“I don’t give a hoot, and haven’t given one since 1955.”

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.

What exactly is a diddly squat?

George Washington’s brother is the Uncle of our Country.

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

If all our national holidays were celebrated on Wednesday we might conceivably have nine-day weekends.

Long before man discovered fire he had sand and water to put it out.

And, finally, “When you look at some of Picasso’s paintings it makes you wonder what kind of woman he visualized when masturbating.”
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Wherever you are George, rest in peace.