You Christians once had a chane to make a really nice religion, but you blew it.

You made a mistake  ‘way ‘way back when you first decided to make up a new religion. You took a lot of ancient myths, mixed them up with a few dozen old-timey gods, and came up with your own god. That’s when you decided to rule through fear, so you had a bunch of sandy old dudes, who were convinced the world was flat and you could hit the moon with a really long stick,  put together a Bible and swore that it was dictated by God, word for word. You made him a jealous, angry, rotten old tyrant who was meaner than snake spit. You had him make up all the rules for living. You claim he created the wonderful innocents Adam and Eve and put them in a super garden and told them they could run around naked and have anything in the world — unless they ate that piece of fruit.

Naturally they had to try the fruit, and that’s when your new religion could have evolved into something much kinder. Instead of becoming furious and destroying them and all their descendants with pain, confusion , anger,  suspicion, and a sense of fashion, he could have brought one of those confessional booths that came years later under Jesus’ newer religion. If he had a confessional booth in the Garden of Eden Adam could have just knelt and said,  “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I ate an apple.” And God could have said, “Okay for you. For disobeying me like that you have to say three Our Fathers and an Act of Contrition — and you’re going to have athlete’s foot, hemorrhoids and bad breath for the next two weeks.”

It would have been a much nicer religion.

                                                                                           FIGHT FORTH

• Today I’m just going to wander around in  my mind to see what’s in there.

Why is there such an amazing difference between the way men and women talk on the phone? My Current Wife has two sisters here in town. They see each other daily, and spend a lot of time together — and then they call each other every evening and every morning. What the hell do they have left to talk about? I have a dear brother in Oregon. We talk about every two months, and we’re all talked out in  roughly two minutes. I guess my phone habits come from my early training. When I was a kid (just after the invention of dew) we had to pay by the minute, and my dad was always yelling to get off the damned phone. I never learned how to just visit on the phone. If I have something to say, fine, but to me rambling away on the phone is like setting fire to money.

I don’t even want to think about life before toilet paper. Read More→

I enjoy about half the books I read. I give up on most of them because they are boring. But every now and then I run across a writer who grabs my lapels and makes me sit up and pay attention to the usage of words.

I particularly love writers who throw words around like jewels. I love people who can toss off a few words or sentences that don’t have a helluva lot to do with their subject, but just because they are wise and fun.

Those words are like sun-diamonds on the lake of literature. Read More→