You seemed to like my collection of words, so here are a few more.

“Things sometimes slip out of his hands like a greased bowling ball.”

John Muir: “A few clouds drifted around the mountain peaks, as if looking for work.”

Margret Attwood: “It was as if hundreds of butterflies had settled on my face and were softly opening and closing their wings.”

Garrison Keillor: “You can learn more about the mysteries of life by drinking gin straight from the bottle than you can by watching television.”

“She wasn’t as fat as a truck. She was shorter, rounder — she was a Jeep.”

“Someone had taken a handful of worry and rubbed it all over her. There was worry in the dark pods under her eyes, and on her slumping shoulders. She even had worry in her hair.”

“You could tell that pain was like her purse — if not right there in her hands it was always nearby, to be found when she needed it.”

“Sheep get very nervous when he’s around.”

Great cowboy sayings I’ve heard/read:  “If God had wanted us to walk he’d have given us four legs, but he gave us just two, one to fit on each side of a horse.”—-”She wasn’t fat – just a big chunky gal who must have been dropped in  a good grass year.”—-”The church was full of bottom-burnished pews.”— “He’d make a damned good fence post, providing you drove him in  head first.”— “He’s so dumb he couldn’t pound nails into Jello.” — “I don ‘t think they tightened up all the screws when they assembled him.” — Talking about a new neighbor, “We’ve howdied, but we ain’t shook.” — A city slicker needed a cowboy to train a horse. When the cowboy arrived he looked at the horses and asked “Which one needs rode?”

Wallace Stegner: “Death is a certification of the end of pain.”

“Politics is just show-business for ugly people.”

“My mind is a bad neighborhood that I try not to go into alone.”

Mark Twain: “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” –and— “I’m sure Wagner’s music  is better than it sounds.”

“I could never kill a man, but I have smiled at several obituaries.”

“He’s a full six-pack, but he lacks the plastic thingy that holds ‘em all together.”

“If you see two people talking, and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald, about Ernest Hemingway: “He was always willing to lend a helping hand to the one above him.”

James Matthew Barrie:  “She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered.”

“If he were any more stupid,  he’d have to be watered twice a week.”

“It takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes.”

“Most of us now and then drink from the fountain  of knowledge, but he just gargled.”

Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself — everyone else is already taken.”

—————-FIGHT FORTH————————

When  I read non-library books I usually have a highlighter in hand, to underline words and phrases that make my heart sing, laugh or sigh.  Here are a few examples of my collection:

Anne Lamott wrote “They were funny, clownish and lovely, like a roomfull of very young girls learning ballet.”  She also wrote “It’s awful! Like buzzing Bambi with a cattle plrod, or slapping E.T.”–and –”Lighthouses don’t go running all over looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” –and– She’s always convinced that every plane she flies on will crash, so she always takes her son along with her. “That way we’ll at least go together, and almost certainly get adjoining seats in heaven, ideally near the dessert table.”

M.F.K. Fisher described a farm family in France: “They lived close to the barn, where the shepherd kept all his sheep, goats,  chickens, rabbits and at least three or four pigs, in a timeless fruity muck that must surely have glowed in  the dark.”  — and– describing a sullen  waitress, “I smiled at her, and she left, but a little cloud of hurt seemed to hang in  the air where she had stood.” — and– “We stopped in front of an unattractive farm restaurant. We wanted to go on, but it was late and we were hungry, cramped and full of latent snarls.” 

“Bob Walker: “God invented football  so grown boys would have something to do between wars.”

Dave Barry:  “He often scratched his crotch, like a man trying to catch a gopher in his underwear.”

James Galvin: “After the spooked horse took out about 100 feet of fence, Bob was pretty thoroughly sanded down; not hurt bad anyplace, but hurt not bad everyplace.”

Russell Baker: “My mother, dead now to the world, but still roaming free in my mind, wakes me some mornings before daybreak, saying, ‘If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a quitter.’”

Anon: “Monday morning arrived like a nasty little terrier, biting at my ankle and pissing on my shoes.” –and–  “It was like being whacked with an x-ray apron.”

Dan Jenkins: “They were both drenched in sweat. Their body odor would have clogged the sinus on a giraffe.” –and–  “He was a good old boy,  who put gravy on everything he ate, including cornflakes and watermelon.”

Diane Ackerman: “Music is perfume for the ears.”

John Berryman  said God is “the craftsman of snowflakes.”

Philip Appleman:  “O karma, dharma, pudding and pie/gimme a break before I die/grant me wisdom, will and wit/purity, probity, pluck and grit/trustworthy, loyal, helpful and kind/ and gimme great abs and a steel-trap mind.”

W.S. Gilbert: “No one can  have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he’s a dirty little beast.”

Margot Asquith: “He could never see a belt without hitting below it.”

Rick Bragg: “She felt that one benifit of old age was that it gave you license to lie like a Republican.”–and– “His pockets were as empty as a banker’s soul.”

 Mark Spragg: “They can’t believe they’ve grown old. They have forgotten that nature has a short attention span, and has never bothered to memorize their first names.”

Poet Juan Jiminez: “The worst thing about death must be the first night.”

Bill Bryson: “Living in England’s weather was like living inside Tupperware.”

Anon: “He had seen people drift away from the piers of life.”

Anne Lamott:  “…like when Mrs. Einstein said she didn’t really understand the theory of relativity, but Albert did, and she knew he could be trusted.” –and– on learning from our mistakes, “Ignorance is curable. Stupidity is forever.” –and– “Try to enjoy life the way it is, because that’s the way it’s going to be anyway.” — and — “I have a friend who says she’s going to kill herself, but wants to lose five pounds first.”

Breaker Morant: “Live each day as if it’s your last, because one of these days you’re going to be right.”

Anon: “It’s like trying to explain sex to a virgin.” –and– “I smelled bad because I had traces of Glen Beck on my shoe.”

Nora Ephron, about her ex husband, “The man is capable of having sex with a venetian blind.”

————————————-Fight Forth——————————————

What kind of house would you have if you suddenly became very wealthy?

Some of you would stay right where you are, and others would buy and remodel Paris.

During my years in Hollywood I had the occasion to visit many homes of people who were in the “Wealthy as Hell” class, and each one had its own flavor.

I really don’t understand how Bob Hope could have been comfortable in his house. Every time I went there I felt that I would be greeted by a bellboy. It was just too damned big to be called a house. It probably would have qualified for statehood.

He lived in a very exclusive part of the San Fernando Valley known as Toluca Lake. It sits right on the edge of the lake and golf course that carries the same name. As required, Bob had a huge swimming pool in his back yard, and, being a golf nut, he also had his own private driving range.

He had fences around the entire compound. They weren’t just ordinary fences, but FENCES — the kind that could have kept Hitler out of France. He had more garages than I have ever had bedrooms, and when I walked from one end of that house to the other I felt I should be leaving a trail of breadcrumbs to help find my way back.

I liked Mike Landon’s house much more. It was big and fancy, and situated atop a hill in Beverly Hills, but I never had the impression that I was surrounded by  an army of servants — I was usually surrounded by happy, noisy kids. 

Mike bought it from Bill Cosby. His next-door-neighbor was Fred Astaire. “When was this place built?” I asked Mike. “1928,” he answered. “I wonder what it cost to build?” I asked. “One million bucks,” said Mike. “No. I don’t mean what its worth today. I mean what it cost to build in 1928.” “One million bucks!” he laughed.

The president of NBC once thought it would be a nice suprise if he gave Mike the gift of a few peacocks, since they were the symbol of NBC. Mike let them roam the property for a few weeks until he learned that they pooped their own weight every 15 minutes, and screamed like unhappy Republicans all night long. He couldn’t catch them, to get rid of them, until he came up with a wonderful idea. He soaked a loaf of bread in vodka and left it by the front porch. In the morning he just gathered the drunk peacocks and drove them to a nearby park, where they could poop and scream to their heart’s content — once they recovered from the hangover. 

When his stardom was at its peak, Burt Reynolds’ home was just what I expected. It was a supreme bachelor pad sitting on the edge of a cliff overlooking Hollywood. It wasn’t a huge house. He had a nice -sized living room decorated Western  style. There wasn’t the slightest hint of female inspiration in the whole joint. It had lots of wood art, cowboy paintings and bronzes.

Charlie Russell would have felt right at home in Burt’s abode — until he spotted the bedroom, which contained the biggest damned bed in   Hollywood. Burt called it Reynolds Field.  He also had a special bathtub, but to call it a bathtub was like calling Marilyn Monroe cute. At least three elephants could have floated in the tub, but I have a hunch the occupants were somewhat prettier than elephants. The tub contained a dozen swirling hot jets coming from different angels.

The bathroom sits right on the edge of that cliff, so his neighbors couldn’t see it. But they had a 12-year-old daughter who could tell from the lights when Burt was in their shaving, and she’d yell, “Burt. I love you,” and he’d yell back, “You have excellent taste.”

But there was one very rich man who did not let money change his life. That was Dan Blocker, who was known around the world as Hoss Cartwright.

As soon  as “Bonanza” became the mega-hit of the decade the other three stars, Lorne Greene, Pernell Roberts and Mike Landon, all hit for Beverly Hills and special mansions — but Dan stayed right where he was when he had been working as a high-school science teacher. His neighbors were not stars, doctors, lawyers or movie producers. They were car salesmen, Lockheed engineers, insurance salesmen and shop keepers. Dan was very concerned about his four kids, and wanted to make sure they grew up like everyone else, so he kept them far from Beverly Hills.

Dan and his wife, Dolph, always made us feel comfortable in their home,  and he kept luxuries to a minimum. About the only thing he had, that his neighbors didn’t have, was a separate refrigerator to hold his keg of beer. That was Dan’s idea of living big.

______________________________FIGHT FORTH ___________________________________