I wonder how the hell some people got elected. A face is an easy thing to read. There are ugly people who have eyes and smiles that shine and glow, making you like them right away. There are beautiful, handsome people who make you want to quickly cover your privates and call the cops. Today I’m talking about political faces. Read More→

Sometimes when I’m trying to fall asleep at night I start worrying. I worry that I don’t have enough air in my tires, or that I can hear rust eating up the water heater, or I didn’t brush my teeth hard enough — lots of stuff. Then, to get my mind pure again, I think of all the things I’d do if I were God for a week. Read More→

The townsfolk are probably wondering why a man obviously well into codgerhood is suddenly rolling around town on a three-wheeled bicycle.

It’s because I hate and despise treadmills.

For seven boring years I have been going to the gym and crawling on one of the damned things and walking-running to nowhere. After a while it became like having daily root canal work done with a whirling brick. Read More→